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Decalogue to become a real hyena

Having established the fact that to survive the abuses to which today's world you subjects, especially in the workplace, I made a real handbook to become the face of a perfect ass.
I hope that this handbook will be useful to anyone - poor wretch like me - every day we face situations, for the Twilight Zone dealing with people in the office bitch:

1) Never talk about the facts and their private life, could backfire conttro ALL of you. The real secret to winning men is to create multiple identities on the border with schizophrenia, all specially created for the occasion.
In my case (at least in the workplace), I chose to assume the role of babba dick, the one who feels a victim of the world and that, because of his shyness and confidentiality will not lean ever tell of their experiences.

2) Never speak of absent colleagues, to the maximum annual face of criticism expressed by the weasels who love to talk to him. Mathematician all comments and criticisms come to those directly affected.

3) Pretending to be always happy, that life smiles at you and that luck is always on you. Although it is not true at all, but the nerds are never welcome.

4) Ceracre always laugh at everything, never do "those who take everything too seriously" because it is likely to be called a tile to the balls. But not too much because it could minimize the label surface.

5) Pretend you always have something to do even better if you are impersonating iperoberati, this may lead to two things: a) unnecessary work that my colleagues did not want to do, b) the label fancazzisti unnecessary.

6) Always have the key charge of coffee, to offer coffee to his colleagues, who are known to be always ready to point the finger at the beggars without a key or coin charging.

7) Actively participate in all types of discussion, even if the argument itself is of interest below zero. so will prevent anti-social elements to be considered insane.

8) Always make the best of a bad job, especially avoiding the excesses blurt out in anger even when you would like to put your hands in the face of all those who have brought you to exasperation. Performed best for this, I recommend to anyone a good yoga class.

9) Avoid the use of telephone for personal purposes, especially if you work in an open space: first of all because the calls are overheard carefully and secondly because the temptation to define an opportunist means business is always within reach of evil colleagues.

10) Accept resignation with the fate that you need for living wage later this month O_o